in the middle of life

discovering spaces within (were they always there?)
spaces filling up with emptiness

yet, thoughts
yes, unstoppable, quietly streaming
thoughts

memories sit beside mundane
(found these lines today
after almost five months and
many walks by many unknown spaces,
to continue)
yes, unstoppable, unheeding, unquietable
thoughts

last night, a dream:
the old house, tall doors, tattered ceilings
a crumple of misshapen almirahs and things
cracks everywhere but none in the memories

the old house
yet isn't it gone? replaced by
a heap of stones and cement, a litany of
squarefeet, wondrously faceless
and why not?
no memories, none
none to return to in dreams

dare i look up and see the
ceiling once more? oh dark!
why, why is it so dark?
pain, neglect, time?
i must get it painted white
and that bent knee shaped chaise longue
is it just that or something, or someone?
memories mixed in a dream

spaces that i never knew were there
spaces filling up