in the middle of life

seven or eight years ago, i was sitting in my small, green filled balcony at our previous home, when this thought went through my mind. it was a clear, simply stated thought. then just now as i was reading the blog personalalchemyblog.blogspot, there came an equally lucid thought: write that thought of all those years ago in your blog. why? no idea, but the tone of v was not one looking for argument, so here's what the mind said that day:

the greatest power is knowing i have no power.

ok, do not take off on me.

i have seriously been looking at "thought" for a while. i feel it has more physicality than things. in fact, every day i grow a bit more certain of this. i have seriously experimented, and found when i send an "untainted" thought that aims at making and not destroying, it has some measurable physical effect.

and every time a thought "makes" something it "makes" me. on the other side, thoughts that destroy are possibly as capable and will destroy the thinker a bit too. don't know, can't confirm, that sort of thinking saps me of energy and am in no state to send untainted thought.

visit to benares and ever since have been thought provoking. haven't found my words yet though, once i do, shall continue.