Friday, October 13, 2006
discrimination
Muslims are discriminated against.
jews are discriminated against.
hindus are discriminated against.
so are the christians.
tribals are discriminated against.
poor people are discriminated against.
aids victims are discriminated against.
physically/mentally challenged people are discriminated against.
and then it occurred to me a few years ago.
i belong to the people most discriminated against, across all societies, all cultures, all religions, all races, all time, every inch of the planet inhabited by us. i belong to the group of people called women.
my nanny had told me when i was five or six that my two brothers were worth 10 lakh (hundred thousand) of rupees each while i was worth only one. i was angry and reported her in tears to my mother. nanny was admonished. everybody laughed about it. somewhere a bride was burnt for dowry. elsewhere a mother was killed by her son to preserve the family's honour. my grandfather died and my grandmother took off all her jewellery, switched to plain white "than" (six yards of cloth, no border, no pallu, no ornamentation) and stopped eating all the things she loved, being a good hindu woman. again a girl was told that when she grows up a handsome prince will come on horseback and save her. a "decent" woman shaved her head and wore a wig/donned a veil/did "ghunghat"/lengthened her skirt/fasted for her husband and family/gave up the bigger slice of fish/accepted that it was not her place to read the religious book/lost her place in her religion because she married a man outside it (that last one is me). of course, a whole sadness of women were sold, raped, turned into prostitutes, slaves, sexually mutilated, beaten, bludgeoned, battered, thrown alive into their husband's flaming pyre. god became father. god's mother-side was gagged, submerged, ignored, forgotten, or used by men to further their madness.
why? why, why?
sometimes i wonder is it because we carry the next generation in our wombs and that feels like a threat? or is it because we have multiple orgasms? this kind of universal exploitation, this one's got to be caused by some basic, gut level, primal fear. what could it be?
in our social mores, our organised religions, our government policies, our ways of living, thinking, everywhere, this discrimination is so omnipresent that many a time i practice it without even knowing. i hope life holds open my eyes, beats at my eardrums, scratches my gray cells and teaches me to be aware, see it clearly, and change things wherever i can.
a small but i believe significant step, i let go of the word "mankind" for "humankind" here onward.
i commit to teach my daughter to embrace and revel in her femaleness, enjoy and make good use of her male side (yes, i am sure we all have both sides, more of this and less of that), and never to take this discrimination.
i promise to put two girls through school, and if life allows as many more as i can. if i'm writing this today it's because my parents never discriminated, not knowingly at least, and insisted i get educated despite my many tantrums and urgings otherwise.
i keep thinking once this discrimination starts getting removed, many of the other discriminations will also begin to die. if the two sides of humankind begin to truly value and respect each other, what fabulous things might happen.
many people are trying to change the situation through their work. you might want to get some idea at http://www.wecanendvaw.org/
jews are discriminated against.
hindus are discriminated against.
so are the christians.
tribals are discriminated against.
poor people are discriminated against.
aids victims are discriminated against.
physically/mentally challenged people are discriminated against.
and then it occurred to me a few years ago.
i belong to the people most discriminated against, across all societies, all cultures, all religions, all races, all time, every inch of the planet inhabited by us. i belong to the group of people called women.
my nanny had told me when i was five or six that my two brothers were worth 10 lakh (hundred thousand) of rupees each while i was worth only one. i was angry and reported her in tears to my mother. nanny was admonished. everybody laughed about it. somewhere a bride was burnt for dowry. elsewhere a mother was killed by her son to preserve the family's honour. my grandfather died and my grandmother took off all her jewellery, switched to plain white "than" (six yards of cloth, no border, no pallu, no ornamentation) and stopped eating all the things she loved, being a good hindu woman. again a girl was told that when she grows up a handsome prince will come on horseback and save her. a "decent" woman shaved her head and wore a wig/donned a veil/did "ghunghat"/lengthened her skirt/fasted for her husband and family/gave up the bigger slice of fish/accepted that it was not her place to read the religious book/lost her place in her religion because she married a man outside it (that last one is me). of course, a whole sadness of women were sold, raped, turned into prostitutes, slaves, sexually mutilated, beaten, bludgeoned, battered, thrown alive into their husband's flaming pyre. god became father. god's mother-side was gagged, submerged, ignored, forgotten, or used by men to further their madness.
why? why, why?
sometimes i wonder is it because we carry the next generation in our wombs and that feels like a threat? or is it because we have multiple orgasms? this kind of universal exploitation, this one's got to be caused by some basic, gut level, primal fear. what could it be?
in our social mores, our organised religions, our government policies, our ways of living, thinking, everywhere, this discrimination is so omnipresent that many a time i practice it without even knowing. i hope life holds open my eyes, beats at my eardrums, scratches my gray cells and teaches me to be aware, see it clearly, and change things wherever i can.
a small but i believe significant step, i let go of the word "mankind" for "humankind" here onward.
i commit to teach my daughter to embrace and revel in her femaleness, enjoy and make good use of her male side (yes, i am sure we all have both sides, more of this and less of that), and never to take this discrimination.
i promise to put two girls through school, and if life allows as many more as i can. if i'm writing this today it's because my parents never discriminated, not knowingly at least, and insisted i get educated despite my many tantrums and urgings otherwise.
i keep thinking once this discrimination starts getting removed, many of the other discriminations will also begin to die. if the two sides of humankind begin to truly value and respect each other, what fabulous things might happen.
many people are trying to change the situation through their work. you might want to get some idea at http://www.wecanendvaw.org/
