in the middle of life

monday. not usually a day for deep realisations. but nothing is usual right now. in the tumble and spin of change. thought about relationships.
nothing beats friendship, does it. when a relationship really grows up it gets here. you start out mother-daughter, let's hope you end up friends. same for husband-wife, father-daughter/son, uncle-niece, lover-lover, god-me, me-myself, you-yourself. friendship is sort of almost otherworldly. it doesn't compete, doesn't judge, doesn't manipulate, how does it survive here?

10 at night, sunday about to end, what to do? start a blog. why not? read this word "mid-life" today. now what does this really mean in year 2006? if it's 40, well i'm way past it, but is it? you mean i had my first and only child after crossing this depressing debilitating double digit (alliterations are the saddest of decorations, so i wasn't attempting one), o that was stupid of me.
but one sec, so why am i not feeling depressed and debilitated? why am i still feeling as though things are just getting somewhere close to that point where it's all going to start off really?
ah, that funny, crazy, quietly always with you sense of excitement. like being in love. actually, even better, even more present than that.
who knows? at 46 all i know is, some things don't work out the way you thought they would, and when something tells you something frabendulous is on its way, believe it. believe it, believe it.